It is time for my monthly round up of new films seen on streaming services other than Netflix, this month.
Starting, as usual, with Amazon Prime:
Armour
Alcoholic armoured truck security guard James Brody (Jason Patric) is working with his son Casey (Josh Wiggins), transporting millions of dollars in gold. A team of thieves led by Rook (Sylvester Stallone) trap their truck on a closed bridge. Earlier this year, Netflix released a nifty bridge bound action movie, Aftermath. This is a very poor relation, badly scripted, cheap and with Stallone looking bored.
Rating: 3.5 out of 10
The Assessment
Himesh Patel and Alicia Vikander star as a couple in the near future. As parenthood is strictly controlled, they have to go through a seven day assessment for the right to have a child. As it progresses, their relationship stars to unravel. As talented as the stars are, and the supporting cast also includes Indira Varma and Minnie Driver, I feel that there have been too many similar themed and toned films recently. I find them totally unengaging.
Rating: 3 out of 10
Ash
I was not expecting much from Ash. Straight to streaming with no fanfare and directed by someone called Flying Lotus who is a DJ and rapper by trade. The plot also did not feel very original: On a distant planet, an astronaut, Riya (Eiza González), wakes up to find the entire crew of her space station has been killed and that she has amnesia, apart from abrupt memories of her partners and their mission. Subject to paranoia, she can’t determine whether or not to trust a man, Brion (Aaron Paul) who claims to know her, sent to rescue her. My instincts were correct. This has a few nice visuals but is otherwise a derivative bore.
Rating: 3 out of 10
Ride the Snake
After Harper’s beloved husband is killed in a car crash, the drunk driver at fault, Sebastian, is only convicted of manslaughter and given a short sentence for reasons of insanity. Believing he faked it, Harper teams up with her daughter Megan to kidnap him and put him on trial again. I thought that this might be a tight little thriller, but it is a total mess. The plot veers all over the place and the usually reliable Michael Maloney is abysmally over the top as Sebastian.
Rating: 2 out of 10
Baby in the Basket
A baby in a basket is left on the steps of an isolated monastery on a Scottish island. The nuns take it in, planning to care for it until a storm passes. Soon though, strange and unexplained events begin to happen at the convent. Strange and unexplained they may be but they are not at all scary. A cheap looking bore.
Rating: 3 out of 10
Over on Sky, Sky Movies subscribers can see:
Cleaner
Daisy Ridley was one of my stars of 2024, with outstanding performances in Sometimes I Think About Dying, Young Woman and the Sea, Magpie and The Marsh King’s Daughter. Her first appearance of 2025 is in this atypical action role as Joey, a former soldier turned…skyscraper window cleaner! Sure enough, she has to use her army skills when terrorists try to take over a building that she is cleaning. I liked the set up and how the excellent Ridley did not go straight into action-woman mode. It eventually unfolds as you would expect but it is fun along the way.
Rating: 6.5 out of 10
Mob Cops
When a retired NYPD detective publishes a book about his family’s mob connections, war breaks out between the cops working for the city’s big crime boss and the officers trying to bring them to justice. Everything feels fake, from the acting to the dialogue and the cliché ridden story.
Rating: 3 out of 10
The following can be bought or rented on the usual services:
Chosen Family
This is very much Heather Graham’s movie, having written, directed and also starred in it as Ann, a yoga teacher who is trying to navigate her life amongst her crazy family. She has a disastrous dating life, but, despite that she spends a lot of time trying to fix everyone’s problems apart from her own. Graham does a good job in all her roles, though the script is a bit uneven, with both perceptive moments and some clunky lines. It can be a little frustrating how awful her insane father, deluded mother, selfish sister Clio, smug and childish boyfriend and his spoilt brat of a kid all are, but Graham and Julia Stiles as Clio are both excellent. I also liked the ending where Ann realised who she should focus her life on.
Rating: 6.5 out of 10
Brief History of a Family
Tu Wei (Lin Muran), the only son of a prosperous Chinese family, shares an unexpected bond with Yan Shuo (Sun Xilun), his quiet classmate, after an incident at their high school. He introduces Shuo to his parents played by Zu Feng and Guo Keyu. Intrigued by Shuo’s enigmatic charm, and the studious nature that Wei lacks, Wei’s parents encourage him to spend more time with their family. This is one of those films that always seemed to be on the verge of containing a shocking moment, in the style of 2022’s Aftersun. So, it built up a certain amount of dread and I give credit to the writer, Lin Jianjie for not taking an easy option when coming up with the movie’s climax. He also, when directing, has a great eye for a composition, producing some eye catching, painterly, shots. But both Wei and Shuo are quite unlikable in different ways, so I found it hard to care too much about what happens to them.
Rating: 7 out of 10
On Paramount Plus:
Monster Summer
When a mysterious force begins to disrupt their big summer fun, a group of friends team up with a retired police detective, Gene Carruthers (Mel Gibson) to embark on an adventure to save their island. Undemanding stuff for pre or young teens, this tropey hark back to films like The Goonies offers little for adults with its clunky script.
Rating: 4.5 out of 10
Doing the rounds on Movies 24 are:
Return to Office
In this curiously titled film – shouldn’t it be Return to the Office? – two co-workers, Liv (Janel Parrish) and Tom (Scott Michael Foster) go back to the office on a hybrid schedule. Sharing a desk, they are known to each other only as Ms. Monday and Mr. Tuesday and start sending friendly notes, sparking an office romance. I did not mind the set up but I found Liv irritating, Tom insufferable and their boss played by Christopher Shyer a pompous ass!
Rating: 4 out of 10
Another month and another two ‘royal’ films.
Firstly, The Reluctant Royal, in which Philadelphia mechanic Johnny (Andrew Walker) learns his estranged father is a duke. As he gets to know his dad, he develops feelings for his adviser Prudence (Emilie de Ravin). Walker tries his best but the material is abysmal. It presents all English people as dreadful snobs and is filled with so many inaccuracies it is laughable, the chief one being that a duke is not royalty! The other is Royal-ish, starring Nichole Sakura as Lacey, an amusement park princess who befriends eight-year-old Rose (Francesca Europa), a real-life princess. She is then recruited by her handsome father to travel to their kingdom and be the new governess. As bad as it sounds, painful to watch especially the excruciating Rose.
Ratings out of 10
The Reluctant Royal: 1.5
Royal-ish: 2
My Argentine Heart
Abril (Julie Gonzalo) goes to Argentina to save her family ranch from being bought by her ex, Diego (Juan Pablo Di Pace). But when outside forces threaten the ranch the pair must come together, rekindling their love in the process. That is a well worn plot, and, despite the unusual setting, it is quite a drag.
Rating: 3 out of 10