This looked intriguing from the trailer. A series of interlinking stories featuring characters who frequent a common in London, even if it did give me a nagging feeling that I’d seen something similar a few years ago…
What I wasn’t expecting was that this would be such an amateurish effort. The script has clunky line after clunky line with stories unfolding in ways that are somehow both predictable and totally ludicrous. A supposedly thuggish dog walker does out to be a nice guy after all; a troubled rough sleeper turns out to be a war hero suffering PTSD; a man’s seeming unrequited love turns out to be reciprocated in the end. The plot lurches on in its contrived and sign posted way – look there’s a pregnant lady, she’s bound to give birth on the common and here’s a devoted old couple, obviously they won’t both make it to the end of the film.
Having established that the actors didn’t have a lot to work with, I suppose it is no surprise that the performances are almost universally dire. From the posh voiced stilted child actors plucked straight from drama school, to an excruciating appearance of an unconvincing police officer and to much more experienced performers, few come out of this mess unscathed. Special recognition needs to go to Stewart Alexander as Harry, a cycling mad alcoholic, Jeff Marsh as a scout leader and Tom Gilling as his bird watching mate who all transcended the bad dialogue and reached new peaks of dreadfulness!
Credit can only go to Sam Kelly and Diana Payan as the elderly couple. Sure they have an embarrassing and contrived scene when they pretend to be giving dogs voices, but they do come across as warm, recognisable human beings. Eleanor Fanyinka is also good as Harry’s object of desire.
There are a couple of interesting plot developments in the second half of the film, but that was far too little, too late. Also, the final few scenes are almost unwatchable with their contrived, cloying sentimentality.
Still, as my mind drifted, I was able to recall the title of the similar but superior film – Scenes of a Sexual Nature. See that instead of this!
Rating 2 out of 10